Friday, December 24, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
ESPN Alabama Roll Tide Commercial
Anyone who knows a smidgen about college ball will find this commercial hilarious!
Reality Ridiculous: The Tall Man/Short Woman Phenomenon
Listen up. I am about 5’9”, well above the average height of women in the United States, which is approximately 5’4”. I have an inexplicable urge to wear stiletto heels, this disorder having emerged at the age of 6 months old – the higher the better. As you can imagine, a pair of four inch heels will put me at about 6’1”, while a pair of six inch heels boost me to a towering 6’3”. Now if the average height of an American male is approximately 5’9 ½”, you can imagine that I have a tough time finding a man of adequate height to complement my stature. So why, pray tell, do I always find extremely tall men, accompanied by women who have only barely escaped elf status, by the skin of their teeth??? Not only that, but both of these parties are known to actively seek one another out! And to add insult to injury, why is it always the pint sized males who are emboldened enough to approach me and the rest of my Amazon friends?
Monday, December 20, 2010
Unless Your Name is Oprah, Keep Reading
Okay – you can admit it. We love to shop. I do not care from what corner of the world you hail; women have an insuppressible urge to purchase things. It is somewhat of an athletic event for us, and we prepare for it as such. In preparation for a serious shopping excursion, I don my sneakers and yoga pants (I’m not the only one!). As exhilarating as this pastime (re: life sustaining action) may be, it does come with certain drawbacks - like, say, a serious hole in your bank account. Despite our innate urge to go bat shit crazy during this time of year, it is important to remember that financial responsibility is integral to the survival of today’s independent woman (cue catchy pop song).
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Ken Doll of the Day
Nationality: American
Description: Singer, Song Writer, Producer, Actor
Caption: Tank is is unuquivocally one of the most talented R&B musicians today. He has an extensive resume that spans singing, mucial production and composition, song writing and acting. Not only is he fine and talented, he has a winning personality. If this music thing ever tanks (pun intended) he is sure to have a fall back career in comedy! Do I really need to explain any further why he is the Ken Doll of the day?
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Do You have Sizephobia?
Sizephobia is a real disorder effecting millions of women across the globe every day. There is no known cure for the disease, outside of getagripidone, which may be very hard to come by in certain cultures. Do you know someone who suffers from sizephobia? Perhaps you suffer from the disorder. If you are unsure, here are a few signs that you may need to seek help.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Girl Talk
Midge: "In this day and age, is it okay for a woman to propose to a man?"
Cocoa Barbie: "It's not okay for this woman. And if he is not man enough to take my hint or point blank ultimatum - he is obviously not the man for me. That is the problem with men these days. They want their cake and to eat it too, while women are all too willing to bake it and serve it to them on a silver platter."
Cocoa Barbie: "It's not okay for this woman. And if he is not man enough to take my hint or point blank ultimatum - he is obviously not the man for me. That is the problem with men these days. They want their cake and to eat it too, while women are all too willing to bake it and serve it to them on a silver platter."
Ken Doll of the Day
Nationality: American
Description: Wide reciever for the Philadelphia Eagles
Caption: Originally from California, he attended UC Berkley. He was a second round draft pick for the 2008 NFL Draft, and was picked up by the Eagles, his current team. Jackson made it as our Ken Doll of the Day due to that unforgetable touchdown during yesterday's game against the Cowgirls. He covered 91 yards before elaborately falling into the endzone! Now his touchdown antics have gotten him into some trouble in the past, however, I think this last performance was well worth the 15 yard penalty (BTW - He wasn't even in the endzone when he began showing out - so I don't even know how legitimate that call was!). Do check out the video!
Friday, December 10, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Girl Talk
Cocoa Barbie: Hey! That is why i said "need." I suck at follow through. Stop judging me!
Midge: You would have sucked in the 50s. Like, "Damn, I gotta walk now?!"
Ken Doll of the Day
Nationality: Ghanaian/German Austrian
Description: Model; Actor
Caption: This sexy experiment in caramelocity was born and raised in Austria. He is fluent in 3 languages: French; English; Spanish; and semi-fluent in German. He attended Virginia Commonwealth University on a tennis scholarship, and has gone on to become a successful model and actor. Mr. Kodjoe is our tantalizing Ken Doll of the Day. He's so fine, I had to post two of him!
Monday, December 6, 2010
Girl Talk
Christie: "That's why white people get depressed when they get old; they don't understand the culture of complaint. This is actually a real study that was done."
Cocoa Barbie: "Hahaha!"
Christie: "Foreigners, minorities, we like to complain, hear other people's problems, get the gory details, and it's actually good for us. We don't have to pretend that we're happy when we're not. That's the only reason the receptionist likes me; I ask her questions about her health and pray.
Christie: "You know they love them some God."
Cocoa Barbie: "Hahaha!"
Christie: "Foreigners, minorities, we like to complain, hear other people's problems, get the gory details, and it's actually good for us. We don't have to pretend that we're happy when we're not. That's the only reason the receptionist likes me; I ask her questions about her health and pray.
Cocoa Barbie: "Hahaha! That is all you need to do for old people to like you - ask about their health and pray."
Christie: "You know they love them some God."
WARNING: Not only does he have a _______, he is one too....
Trust me ladies, I have been around the block a couple of times, and he has the signs of a controlling prick written all over him. Sweet Cynthia had better be careful before she ties herself to a controlling/abusive asshole. That type of behavior should not be tolerated and needs to be checked, immediately!
Ken Doll of the Day
Ken Doll: Hill Harper
Nationality: American
Description: Actor, Author, Activist
Caption: An alumnus of Harvard Law School, he is best known for his portrayal as Dr. Sheldon Hawkes on the series CSI: NY. But not only that, this sexy Ken Doll has authored three books, Letters to a Young Brother, published in 2006, Letters to a Young Sister: DeFINE Yourself, published in 2008 and The Conversation, published in 2009, geared towards enhancing the African American community. He is most certainly our Ken Doll of the Day! Damn he's fine (and smart!).
Women Trump Men in the Lying Game
Women love to tout the dishonesty of men. “Dirty lying dogs,” is one phrase that I have heard numerous times over. Although women love to heap the blame on a man when they find out that he is a low down, dirty hoe, they need to start taking responsibility for the ways in which they have nurtured such behavior. The reality of the matter is that we, as women, love to deceive ourselves. We lie to ourselves about weight, shoe size, men, anything you can imagine. Most oft, the biggest lies that we tell are not to others, but rather, to ourselves.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Ken Doll of the Day
Ken Doll: Osi Umenyiora
Nationality: Nigerian British
Description: New York Giants Football Player
Caption: This defensive end also has a tight end and knows how to perform in the...ahem...I mean on the field. Here's to hoping he leads my Giants to another Superbowl win. Let's go G-Men!
Nationality: Nigerian British
Description: New York Giants Football Player
Caption: This defensive end also has a tight end and knows how to perform in the...ahem...I mean on the field. Here's to hoping he leads my Giants to another Superbowl win. Let's go G-Men!
File It Under, "Girl, That's Something White Women Do!"
Recently I have been having the urge to go on a one woman getaway. I can recall a few months back, a married friend of mine revealed to me the exact same thing, and asked me if I thought it was selfish. My response to her was, "Hell yes! And furthermore, girl, that's something white women do."
So why then, months later, has this idea popped into my head as if it were my own. Taking real time to pontificate this phenomenon, I have come to realize that the everyday stress of being a career woman and devoted sisterfriendfamilygirlwonderwoman has really worn me down. Faced with my frayed nerves, and absolutely no sign of a reduction in the tasks/issues that burden me, a solo vacation appears to be as attractive as Morris Chestnut in The Best Man.
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Midge: Your boycotts last a day.