Do You have Sizephobia?

Sizephobia is a real disorder effecting millions of women across the globe every day.  There is no known cure for the disease, outside of getagripidone, which may be very hard to come by in certain cultures.  Do you know someone who suffers from sizephobia?  Perhaps you suffer from the disorder.  If you are unsure, here are a few signs that you may need to seek help.


     - Do you constantly have muffin top?
     - Do you find yourself having to return numerous clothing gifts because they "just didn't fit right?"
     - Does it take you an extra ten minutes to put on a pair of jeans or pants?
     - Have you found that all of your dresses that are small or extra-small are primarily comprised 
        of spandex?
     - Do you have an inexplicable fear of constrictive fibers?
     - Do you still maintain that you wear a size six, despite only having a single article of clothing in your
        wardrobe that is actually a size six (and when worn can lead to a horrible deformity known as
        backfat?)?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be suffering from the disorder known as sizephobia.  Do not feel defeat, because there is help available for sufferers. 
I have comprised a one step program, which should alleviate a majority of these symptoms.  The main order of this revolutionary program is:

        1. STOP THE MADNESS!

Why do we do it to ourselves, ladies?  The one mistake in fashion that I continue to see over and over again is that of women wearing clothes that are too tight for their form.  This does not make you skinnier!  I REPEAT: THIS DOES NOT MAKE YOU SKINNIER!  There is no study, which has credibly denoted that wearing clothes two sizes too small will make you slimmer.  The only thing that you can look forward to achieving is making yourself look like a stuffed sausage.

Women always like to adhere to a single size.  I guess society has inflicted this obstinate desire upon us, which I guess is why women typically try to claim the lowest size that they have ever been able to fit into.  The fact of the matter is that we typically wear a number of different sizes, and this is many times dictated by the cut, make or fabric of a particular clothing item.

The size of your pant or dress should not matter.  It should be more important that your clothes fit well and that you feel comfortable and sexy in them.  (And btw, you can feel sexy in sweats, so get your minds right, chickies!)  When people ask my size, I sometimes feel tempted to spout some outrageous number, because really, who cares?  Think about it.  Why are we letting the size of the skirt that we bought at the mall last week ruin our moods for the entire month?  (Dislaimer: If you have increased ten dress sizes in the span of thirty days, consult your physician, as this does not apply to you.)  That's crazy, and we need to stop the madness!

Now, I can recall getting a pair of pants tailored, which were previously a size 10 or 8, but had to be taken in to about a 6.  Afterwards, I was so upset that the size posted did not reflect the actual fit, that I cut the tag out.  Now, my motives in doing so were all kinds of messed up, but I think I was on to something.  I propose that we cut the size out of clothes that make us feel insecure due to the little number posted on the inner label.  I think that this is a step in the right direction.  You are a sexy diva, and you are not defined by the numbers printed on a piece of fabric.  As a mater of fact, sizes are not constant; they have fluctuated through out the years.  I love vintage clothes, and most of them are not posted with the sizes I usually pick up when I go shopping at the modern clothing stores.

The bottom line - Size is relative.  Do not be afraid of it, just use it as a gauge for which side of the rack to wander toward when shopping.